


Santa Tell Me...

by pb_nj



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Grey's Anatomy: B-Team (Web Series)
Genre: Christmas fic, M/M, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28389519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pb_nj/pseuds/pb_nj
Summary: Levi rolled his eyes and started singing the first verse with overdramatic gusto:Santa tell me if you're really there! Don't make me fall in love again if Kim won't be here next year!Santa tell me if Nico cares! Coz I can't give it all away again if Kim won't be here next year!"Dr. Schmitt!" Sara Ortiz hissed from the side and he stops singing, looking over at her."What?" She gestures with her eyes towards the door. And indeed, like a cliche in a romcom movie, Nico was stood there halfway in the door.
Relationships: Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 5
Kudos: 63





	Santa Tell Me...

**Author's Note:**

> Am I late to the Christmas fic season. Yes... Yes I am... But.... It's better late than never! 
> 
> Yes... Yes I know it's another angsty, getting back together fic just... Christmas edition.
> 
> But you can't tell me Levi wouldn't be butchering Ariana's song and bitterly adding Nico's name in it.

* * *

It just so happens that Levi, Taryn and Casey were all on duty on Christmas Eve. They all know it's mostly because the attendings would want the holidays off at least for that one night and get back some normalcy in their lives. Not all attendings though.

Mostly the ones without the children ended up taking the shifts. DeLuca didn't want to leave the Covid ward especially with two attendings as patients are under his watch. Jo was happy to take over the Paediatrics side of things, she says it may give her more inspiration to make the career change she'd been thinking of these past few weeks. Webber and Catherine Fox had another of those silly fights so he last minute arrived back at the hospital to take over Trauma and A&E so Hunt could go home to his children. And of course, Nico Kim had to look after Orthopaedics, it was Link's first Christmas with Scout after all.

The residents were mostly on standby for all the other specialities except the Covid wards. The hospital tends to discharge most patients if they can during the holidays so they can spend time with family or at least a one to two days discharge just to spend the holidays outside of the hospital. 

Levi is taking a quick break after rounds, standing by one of the glass walls. He's just staring outside of the window, his eyes following falling snow.

"There you are." He hears the voice and he hates how his heart basically jumps in his chest and his body's reflex was to turn towards the owner of the voice. It took every ounce of his self control not to move an inch.

"I was looking for you. Say, want to hang out during our breaks later?" Nico stops beside him and his body was radiating warmth that Levi wants to badly cozy up to. It must be because it's the holidays and the past two years was indeed spent with him cozying up with the ortho attending.

"No, I don't think so. The residents are planning to do a mini holidays party in the residents' lounge to at least feel a little festive so.. No offense but free food you know?" He tries to make it not sound like an outright rejection but it basically is and Nico doesn't miss it. 

The attending looked slightly shocked, opening his mouth and then closing it again as if second guessing his next words. 

"Fair enough.. You think I can drop by? Don't really fancy the idea of spending my break alone with Webber. DeLuca stays with Grey even during down time and… I'm guessing Jo will probably drop by too?"

"Jo's been….. Oddly going over to the nursery during her breaks. She is either brooding or waiting for some sign like if baby in crib 5 will cry, that will make or break her decision about her career change." 

Nico raises a brow at the latter part and Levi chuckles, shaking his head. "It's an inside joke between us about this whole change of career thing."

The chuckle relaxes Nico a bit. He's not gonna lie, the moment he saw Levi's back as he turned the corner he could already feel the tension coming from him. 

Things have been really good lately between them. Nico has missed Levi more than he liked to admit, despite all the talk about not being good enough as a boyfriend to the resident. Yes, it seems that he'd given up on them too quickly but that was also a rash decision he's sorely regretted. He believed that he doesn't know how to be with Levi and so as risky as it is, he offered the whole stress relief facade. He was gonna be content with whatever Levi was willing to give but….. He didn't expect for this to go better than he anticipated.

It was mostly sex… Had been the whole time. But eventually the sex ended up with cuddles, which was eventually followed up with sleepovers, which eventually ended up with Levi staying over for two to three days at times in Nico's place. They both convinced each other that it was easier for Levi when he has back to back shifts and both of them wanted some  _ stress relief,  _ whether it was actual sex or just being together.

Levi, too, hasn't been like his old self where he would push Nico to talk. No, lately Levi would take one look at Nico's face and he'll take Nico's hand in his, squeeze and wait until Nico rests his head on the crook of Levi's neck. After a while Nico will start talking on his own, it's never the full details because Nico can't bear to relive the nightmare again by going in depth, but it is enough for Levi to know what was bothering him. Levi knows to ask nowadays rather than force himself towards Nico. He'd always ask, "Can I do anything to help?" Most often, Nico just needs Levi's presence and he's learned to stop suppressing his emotions through sex, he realises how unfair that was to Levi. Sometimes though, he ends up needing distractions and will rope Levi into making food together. It ends up with more banter about who is the better cook.

Nico, himself, has learned to read Levi's mood and he can tell when Levi needs to talk it out, whatever was bothering him. So he brings out Levi's favourite blanket (that Nico owns), makes a mug of hot chocolate for Levi (with a sprinkle of cinnamon because it's how the resident likes it best) and brings it to him. He waits until Levi wraps himself up like a burrito from the arms down then takes hot chocolate and settle himself next to Nico.

They always end up with Levi laying back against Nico's chest, the taller one wrapping his arms around him as Levi rants whatever was on his mind. Nico listens, he truly listens and chimes in with an advice or two. The problem is that Levi in a talking mood, is a Levi that talks the night away and Nico usually ends up falling asleep mid-rant. Levi will look back when he doesn't hear a response and he'd just smile, kiss Nico's nose and fall asleep in their position like that. 

So lately, Nico and Levi have been good. Really good to the point that, it seems that they're back together. Link actually asked Nico just before he went off for Christmas. Nico mentioned that missing Christmas with his parents is much preferred since he'd be on shift with Levi anyway.

"I mean we haven't talked about it but we seem to just have gotten back together?"

"Nico, you really need to talk to him. If you don't want to lose him again, make it clear. Tell him you still like him and want him back."

And Nico knows that just…. He's scared of messing this up if they put a label back on themselves again. He knows how he feels for Levi and he knows what Levi feels for him...

But he actually doesn't. Because Levi as a boyfriend always says I love you and reminds Nico that every chance he can get. Nico secretly soaks that up but he hasn't heard those three words in a long time.

Nico as a boyfriend is also secretly possessive and Levi's always known this with the way Nico would pull him close to him. Nico hasn't felt the right to do that for months now even if he's been itching to because in public, Levi distances himself from Nico. After all… That's what they are, apart from all the stress relief activities, they merely are friends or co-workers mostly…. And that thought doesn't sit well with Nico. 

He was hoping to get some alone time with Levi during their Christmas Eve shift because for all the suave Nico has, he's a closet romantic and what better way to officially get back together than on Christmas Eve? But that might not be happening now.

"So, can I join you guys?" Nico asks because maybe he can still pull Levi away just so they can talk. 

"Yeah I think so. The new interns and residents might be a bit wary of you but it should be okay." Levi smiles up at Nico but his eyes weren't and Nico notices that. 

"Are we-..you okay?" Nico takes a step closer but Levi chooses to wrap his arms around himself with the pretense that he's cold. Nico knows he isn't.

"Yes, just that it doesn't feel really merry or happy this year. I'm just worried whether my mom is okay and if the aunties are being nice to her. You know the ones I told you about before." Nico nods, remembering Levi's story of his favourite and least favourite family members. But Nico knows there's more to that. He can tell it's something to do with them and he feels his old self returning; wanting to run away from the potential confrontation and wanting to mask it with sexual activities. At the same time, it seems it's Levi this time who wants to stay quiet and avoid whatever was bothering him by not talking about it. 

And just like how Levi has now learned to respect Nico's space, he's also going to respect Levi's and quell the fear of confrontation when it does come. He's going to face Levi and his feelings even if his whole body just wants to flee.

"Well, what time is that? I'll see if I can drop by somehow? I can treat everyone to some coffee. Did you all chip in for the food?"

"Around 11:30? We're gonna try and welcome Christmas Day. I brought some chips but I think a few others made some dishes to share. I wasn't too sure if people would be interested in Hanukkah food."

"What? They don't know what they're missing out then." 

Levi chuckles and smiles up at Nico, amused. "You know what Hanukkah food tastes like?"

"Eh.." Nico shrugs and smiles back at Levi. "You can make some for me."

"And burn your apartment down? You really wanna risk that?" They both chuckle and realise what Levi has said, that they're both imagining to be  _ together _ at Nico's place. The sudden pause is a surprise because this has been their set up for a while and they've never really talked about it. It seems it would need to be brought up soon enough.

The air turns awkward and they both stare outside the window silently but thoughts scrambling for words to say. 

Nico remembers what he's meant to do and turns to Levi again. He is tempted to reach for the resident's hand. He doesn't. Not yet. 

"Can we talk after-" He gets interrupted by a phone call and he picks his phone from his pocket. Nadia's name is flashing on the screen and Nico can't help but smile. She must be checking in on him, this is his first year to miss Christmas with the family.

"I'll take this call. I'm gonna text you if I ever do make it to your party at the lounge."

Levi waves him away and finally releases the breath he didn't realise he has been keeping in. It's been getting harder and harder to stay calm and collected with Nico. Especially when his heart just wants to keep racing every time Nico is close.

He gets paged then and pushes the thoughts of Nico to the back of his mind. 

***

Levi guessed he would've been drunk by now if the eggnog Casey bought was spiked but the amount of food and drinks he's had in a span of 30 minutes definitely makes him feel drunk enough to go into a coma. 

The clock has hit twelve and everyone was already greeting each other Merry Christmas and exchanged gifts. He's already given his gifts to his best friends and his own are sat by him. 

Nico hasn't texted when he's coming or if he really is coming. He must've gotten caught up in something during his rounds. Levi must admit he was expecting him a little bit but knows to never hope too much so he's kept his phone on the seat next to him just in case.

One of the interns has brought their iPad with them, connected to a Bluetooth microphone and they've been singing Christmas karaoke since the start. Levi's already taken the Mariah Carey song or more that he had to fight Taryn for that song. 

"You don't even celebrate Christmas!"

"I'm gay and celebrate Mariah Carey!" 

Suffice to say even Taryn agreed he won that argument. 

"Next song is…. Ariana Grande!" 

"Mine! Mine, mine, mine!" Levi's hand shot up and he strode over to the mini karaoke set up. 

"Again, Schmitt, you don't even celebrate Christmas." Taryn chides, placing an arm around his shoulder. She took a look at the title and laughed, "Okay. I'll give this one to you too."

Levi rolled his eyes and started singing the first verse with overdramatic gusto:

_ Santa tell me if you're really there! Don't make me fall in love again if Kim won't be here next year! _

_ Santa tell me if Nico cares! Coz I can't give it all away again if Kim won't be here next year! _

"Dr. Schmitt!" Sara Ortiz hissed from the side and he stops singing, looking over at her. 

"What?" She gestures with her eyes towards the door. And indeed, like a cliche in a romcom movie, Nico was stood there halfway in the door. 

The whole room grew silent except for the background music from the iPad. Everyone was looking back and forth between Levi and Nico who just kept staring at each other with unreadable expressions.

It was Levi who broke the eye contact. Giving the microphone to Casey, he walked out, pushing the door more open and past Nico, ignoring the attending. 

"Levi!"

He hears Nico call after him and it won't take long for Nico's long strides to catch up to him so he jogs, careful to make sure he doesn't hit anyone or anything along the way. 

He makes his way outside without a coat and the snow hitting his bare skin feels like a jolt to his body. 

"Levi! What are you doing out here, are you crazy?!"

"Maybe the cold will help me wake up!"

"Wake up… From what?" He feels Nico drape a lab coat over his shoulders and he wraps him up tight. 

"Wake up from the reality that you and I will never be more than two people screwing each other's brains out but I just had to go and fall back in love with you again. No, actually I've always been in love with you and I've been trying to convince myself that I'm not. There, Nico. Now you know. Happy?"

Nico looks at the resident in front of him. His eyes are sad and uncertain, always showing whatever was in his heart. Of course it would always boil down to him hurting Levi and making him second guess himself. He did this, he caused this. All because he got scared too.

He's trying to find words but he's never been good at that. He never knows how to express himself the way Levi expresses his own. It's like how it was back then when they broke up only this time, Levi isn't asking for anything or to hear an explanation. Rather, it seems Levi is shutting him out. 

He takes a step closer and the resident takes a step back, arms crossed against his chest as he holds the edges of the labcoat around his small frame. He wasn't meeting Nico's eyes this time, he was looking to the side, bowing his head down the ground. Nico hates that. 

For how much Nico lacks in words, he's always made it up for his actions. He almost forgot the bag he had in his hands from when he first entered the residents' lounge. He held it up in front of Levi, hoping to get his attention. 

Levi side eyes the bag and refuses to take it, stubbornly resting his chin on his hands as if to stop himself from taking the offered item. 

"What's that?" There was a little pout on his lips now and Nico couldn't help but still find that adorable about him.

"Just open it, Levi. Please?" Nico says, pleads and his tone of voice is what gets Levi to look at him again and take the bag with a sigh. 

He opens it and the first thing he smells are, "Latkes?"

"Yeah. I actually have a Jewish neighbour in the apartment building. I asked if she can make some because I know you'll miss Hanukkah and your family this year." 

There was a small smile forming by the corner of Levi's mouth and good.. That's good. He's slowly opening up. 

"There's another one in there."

Levi digs through the bag again and feels a small box, he lifts it up and it's a funko pop of, "Is this?"

"Yeah. Your D&D character.. Person.. Hero."

"How?"

"I do listen, Levi. It may seem like I don't but I do.. I always pay attention to you. Just, really bad at showing it."

Levi was still checking the funko pop and it had every single detail about his hero. He remembers rambling to Nico about how the game works and how he made his character. What made it more surprising is that he's told this story early on in their relationship, when they were still together. That was ages ago….

The revelation just seems to confuse him even more. Isn't Nico supposed to just see him as a fuck buddy? Isn't that why they broke up in the first place? Why is he giving gifts and not running away like he did last time? Why does he remember things Levi said nearly a year ago?

"I can almost hear you thinking, Levi. Care to shout it louder in your head?"

"Nico, you're really confusing me and I don't like it." He isn't sure what his body wants to do. Cry? Shout? Throw the things at Nico? Kiss Nico? And so he does what he thinks is best. The resident closes his eyes, as if to ground himself.

Nico sees this and he isn't proud that he seems to just keep causing these expressions on Levi's face. He wants to change that from now on. So he takes another step forward until he's close enough to breath down Levi's mouth, hands holding Levi's arms gently. 

"I'm sorry. For confusing you and for all of this. I never should've proposed the whole stress relief thing but.. It was a way for me to get you back without… Without fearing that one day I'll have to tell you what haunts me. What inner nightmares I have."

Levi shivers at the breath that falls on his lips as Nico talked. He couldn't help but open his eyes, meeting Nico's and seeing his mask completely off, vulnerable and open. 

"I'm sorry." He replies, slowly tearing his own walls down now. "That was me who back then, didn't know how to give you the space you need. I was too forceful and drove you away."

"And I was too scared that the love of my life would run away if I showed you my demons."

"Love of your life? Is that me?"

Nico chuckles and couldn't help himself but kiss the tip of Levi's cold nose, smiling down at him, "Of course it's you, silly."

Levi smiles this time. Finally. The smile that lights up his whole face and makes his eyes more doe-like. The smile that Nico loves. 

"l have a lot of kept secrets that I'll share with you one day.. When I'm ready. And I'm still learning how you want me to love you but what I know is that I'm still in love with you. And I want to be with you. So.. Please come back to me?"

Levi is silent for awhile, just staring up into the face of the man he loves so much. The man who just admitted that all this time, he still loves him just as much as Levi does. 

So he nods because this time he's the one who doesn't know how to express himself with words, leaning in the rest of the way, meeting Nico's lips. 

And they kiss, familiar with each other's lips yet knowing something has changed between them. They kiss under the falling snow, on Christmas day, feeling the cold on their skins but warm breaths on their lips and it's the best feeling they've both felt in a long time. It's like finally finding the final piece of the puzzle that makes them fit together.

"We better get inside. I want to keep kissing you but not when your lips are turning blue." Nico takes Levi's hand and guides him back in the hospital. 

Levi kept looking at their intertwined hands and smiling up at his boyfriend. The thought emits a little chuckle from him that doesn't go unnoticed by Nico who smiles down at him, a question in his eyes. 

Levi shakes his head and notices something above them, hanging by the entrance. He points up and Nico looks at where he's pointing at, causing the attendant to grin. 

"I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas?" His tone was teasing but he's already wrapped his hands on Levi's waist, pulling him in. 

"I'm always open to adopt some Christmas traditions. Merry Christmas, Nico." Levi wraps his arms behind Nico's neck, tiptoeing to reach up and whisper softly against his lips.

"Happy Hanukkah, Levi." He whispers back and claims Levi's lips for the second time that night, not caring whether anyone could potentially catch them. 

Yes, it may have taken them this long road to get back together. To separating and longing for each other. To pretending that they didn't care for each other but along the way learning to be better together. 

Yes, their story isn't romantic or cute like those in the books but in the end… It's  _ their _ love story and it restarted on Christmas Day.

**Author's Note:**

> Send me some love and comments if you like this!
> 
> Also feel free to spazz with me on Tumblr! @[pb_nj](http://pb-nj.tumblr.com)!


End file.
